


A Fresh Start

by athlone



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2015-06-11
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athlone/pseuds/athlone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's early June 2015. Adam and Victoria seem to have run away after the accident. Cain has kissed Chrissie. Aaron and Robert aren't together. Life moves on and Aaron realises he has to put the past behind him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Fresh Start

It’s been weeks. He has been trying to avoid Robert as much as he can and most of the time he has succeeded. Even in a small village like Emmerdale it’s not impossible, if you try. Robert does not usually go to the scrapyard much and Home Farm is not exactly next to the pub.

That’s where he is now. In the back room. He’s lying on the sofa, half-heartedly watching the television. He thought he should go out and start enjoying himself, start moving on, but now he’s got dressed up, he can’t be bothered. Bored, he flicks around the channels, he's watching it but not really watching. He’s not interested. With a frustrated sigh switches it off and throws down the remote as he walks out into the bar.

As ever, Chas is watching out for him. “So, you going out this evening love?”  
“I don’t know, I have a pint for now.”  
Does he want to go out? Does he want to meet anyone? No, he doesn’t want anyone else. But then again, what does he really want? He’s almost feeling sorry for himself and sips at his pint.

It was too good to last. The door opens and the Whites breeze in, Robert, Chrissie and Lawrence. Robert’s eyes immediately burning into him. Then, checking himself, Robert turns to his wife and father-in-law, and indicates “Hey, you two sit down and I’ll bring the drinks over.” He approaches the bar. “All right?” he says to Aaron, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.  
“Yep, fine thanks.” Aaron responds just as coolly, then turns back and finishes his drink.  
“Can I get you one?”  
“No, you’re all right, I’m good. Actually, I am just on my way out.” He gulps down the rest of his drink then, turning to Chas who is keeping her eye on them both, says “I’m off mum. I might not be back tonight.”  
Chas, clearly getting whole picture, glances at Robert and then with a grin and says “All right love, off you go you enjoy yourself. Have fun.” Watching him go out the door, Robert doesn’t take his eyes off him until it the door closes behind him. He then turns back to Chas, looking blank. She gives a satisfied smile and turns away.

 

Aaron walks into Bar West, not really knowing why he is there. Almost before he’s through the front door, a familiar grinning face greets him and says, with a very poor imitation of an American accent, “Hey, of all the gay bars in all the world…”  
Hell, ‘of all the people’ thinks Aaron but manages “Funny! So what are you doing here anyway?”  
“Same as you, I expect” says Finn. “Actually, I’ve only just got here myself.” Seeing as there was no immediate response he adds, “Well, I suppose we might as well have one drink together then.”  
“No, you’re all right. Actually, I am…” but as Finn looks visibly hurt, Aaron thinks for a moment and changes his mind “All right then, but I’ll get them.”  
“Oh, such a man” and, raising his eyebrows, adds “but then I guess I know that.”  
“Look, if you’re …”  
“Calm down. You might be fit but I’m looking for someone who can say more than two words that aren’t about cars or football. So don’t worry…” pausing dramatically he leans in and adds in a mock whisper “…you won’t be going there again.” Aaron rolls his eyes and turns towards the bar.  
“I’ll grab a couple of stools where we can eye the talent.”  
“Whatever” says Aaron with a shake of his head.

Aaron returns after a couple minutes with two pints. Putting Finn’s down in front of him, he takes a sip of his own and then asks casually “So are you meant to be meeting someone here or what?”  
“I haven’t got a date if that’s what you mean, but as for meeting someone, well I’ve always got hopes.”  
Looking around Aaron says half smiling “Anyone in particular?”  
“No, not really. Oh God, that must make me sound desperate. I’m guess I'm looking for love Aaron, but if I can’t find that the other will do sometimes. Maybe I should be a bit more like you.”  
“What do you mean?” Aaron says, as he settles down on the stool opposite.  
“Well, you’re just one of those ‘no strings, one night stand’ type of guys.”  
Aaron just stared at him impassively.  
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, that’s fine. I wish I could be like that sometimes. If you don’t get involved, you don’t get hurt. So you’ve maybe got it right.”  
There’s an awkward silence for a few moments that Aaron pipes up “So what happened with your lad then, what was his name, Darren?”  
“Yeah, well, things don’t always turn out the way you want them to.”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“Nooo” Finn is now perked up and interested “You tell me. What have I been missing? Can’t be anyone from Emmerdale.”  
“No, not from the village no.”  
“So there was someone then?”  
“Leave it.”  
“All right, keep your hair on. If we are the only gays in the village we can at least be civil to each other. Mind you, I’ve often wondered if we really are.”  
“Are what?”  
“Oh, for heaven’s sake. Aaron, what planet you are you on? The only gay boys, of course.” Finn thinks for a moment and then looking out into the bar, but with sideways glances to Aaron “I’ve often wondered, I mean I know he’s besotted with Vic now and I hope they’ll be happy, wherever they are, but I did often think whether Adam might dabble. Especially seeing how he’s your best mate and all, and he is quite fit.”  
“Nah”, with a momentary flashback of where it all somehow kind of started Aaron pauses, smiles, then adds surprisingly kindly “He’s definitely straight.”  
“Yeah, and we’ve both heard that before.” They stare each other for a moment, then burst out laughing. Aaron suddenly feels an immense sense of relief.  
“Anyway, I’ve often wondered about your brother.” says Aaron, trying to move away from any more talk of Adam and Vic.  
“No, he’s kind and sensitive but he’s definitely a one-woman man.”  
“Not Pete. I mean Ross, maybe tries too hard to be hard.”  
“Well, he probably would shag anything with a pulse, but I think the only condition would be that they had plenty of…” he sticks his chest out wiggles. They both half laugh and then there’s silence for a few moments. Finn, then drops his smile and says “Aaron, can I ask you something?”  
“You can ask, doesn’t mean you’ll get an answer.”  
“I know you had someone special. Jackson, wasn’t it? And I’ve sort of heard what happened but it must be a few years ago. Don’t worry you needn’t go there now but I just wondered if you thought in a way that’s it, well like it only happens once and that for you, well, now it’s gone.”  
“It’s four years” he looks down and back at Finn and in a kind of dreamy way adds, “and who knows what the future’s got in store for any of us.”  
“Well I don’t know about the future but I know what I’m up for here tonight” trying to lighten the mood. He looks around then screws up his face “Maybe not much chance of that even and I’m certainly not expecting to find Mr Right but” he stares at his drink “I guess I hope I will do one day.”  
“Course you will”  
“Thanks, it’s just that you sometimes seem to have so much anger bottled up and I’m sure you’ve every right to be but, well, I guess what I’m trying to say is please don’t give up. It will happen. I’d say if you ever wanted a chat I’m here, but it’s not your style, I know that’s for sure.” He stops for a moment but keeps look at Aaron, and then “We don’t even have to be friends but I think we can be civil to each other, particularly if we  _are_ the only two.” Adding, with his smile returning, “Although, like I said, not so sure about that.”  
“You can’t go around thinking every other man is gay.” says Aaron rolling his eyes.  
“Well one thing’s for sure, not every man is a hundred per cent straight.” Finn has a too knowing look.  
Aaron puts his pint down and looks directly at him. Was that some sort of hint? Did he suspect something? Had he even seen something? Finn looked back. What’s going on there behind Aaron’s dreamy eyes? Finn tilts his head back slightly and almost raises an eyebrow, in a questioning way, but says nothing. They carry on drinking, enjoying the music, and the view. Finn notices with genuine pleasure that even Aaron appears to be checking out the odd guy here and there.

“Do you want another drink.” says Finn eventually.  
“Nah, you’re ok” swilling the last bit of his drink round that glass and then downing it in one. “I’m bit tired so I’m gonna push off. Anyway, don’t look round now, but I think the guy in the blue top standing at the bar seems to have been staring at you for the last five minutes, so I won’t cramp your style.”  
Finn livens up “Ok, well you take care.” As Aaron hops off from the stool, Finn smiled sweetly at him and adds “Hug?”  
Aaron gives a “hmm” screws up his face, but in a nice away and with a smile. They hug. Finn kisses Aaron on the cheek. Aaron just pats Finn’s back.  
“Listen, you’re all right, you. So take care.” says Aaron, pulling away.  
“Well gee thanks mister” says Finn in an accent as exaggerated as the pose he strikes.  
Aaron rolls his eyes, smiles, and walks off towards the door.

Once he gets outside he realises it still actually early evening. He doesn’t want to go home yet. If he gets a taxi, he’ll be back before the pub closes. He starts walking, not really sure where his heading, but then again, there’s a lot going on in his head. A bar full of guys and yeah, some fit lads, but he knows what would happen. He wouldn’t be able to through with it. It wouldn’t be fair on the other guy. Why did it have to be like this? Why did Robert bloody Sugden ever have to come into his life? If had just been sex he could have coped with that, but Robert Sugden has got into every bit of him, and it was doing his head in.

He kept walking through the streets to the edge of town. A million thoughts are swirling around in his head. Funny, Finn actually got it right in his own little way. He never thought they’d be anyone else after Jackson. He wasn’t going to be celibate for ever. Sure, he could pulled half the lads in that bar if it wanted, even if he did say so himself. He smiles. No, he doesn’t want that. What does he want? Hell knows. Someone maybe to share stuff with, but seems it certainly wasn’t going to be the person he couldn’t get out of his head, the person who made his stomach turn knots every time he saw him. Aaron kept on walking. It’s now getting too late to get a bus all the way back to Emmerdale, but he could probably get one part of the way. Still, it’s not as though he hasn’t walked all the way home before. Might do him good, a bit of exercise instead of sitting around. It’s nice evening, so no problem. He’d keep on walking.

As he gets out into the open country, the nice evening suddenly starts being not so nice. He feels a few spots of rain. Only a few spots though, might even cheer him up in a funny way. The rain eases off and keeps walking but it doesn’t last. The shower is starting to get heavier now but somehow he doesn’t care. The rain feels good as he walks. It’s fresh and makes him feel alive.

Only a few miles left by now but it’s pouring down. One car passed going the other way but he didn’t recognise it and they didn’t stop. A few splashes. Another car coming, it’s going fast, so he jumps up onto a bank at the side of the road or he’s going to get drowned from all the surface water. Bloody idiot driving like that in this weather. He can hear the screech of brakes and the obvious sound of a car reversing through the water. He keeps looking straight ahead. He’s just ready, if anyone wants to get smart with him. The car screeches to a halt beside him. He still stares straight ahead when he hears the window purr down and a voice he knows only too well. “Aaron, for God’s sake, get in.” Yes, it’s him. Why does this happen to me? Still, it’s a lift and he’s absolutely drenched, so he climbs in.  
“Thanks, but I’m soaking. I’m going drip all over your car.”  
“Don’t worry about that. What on earth are you doing walking about in this?”  
“Just out for a stroll and it suddenly started to rain.”  
“What you doing out anyway.”  
“I had to sort something out. So I dropped Chrissie and her dad home.”  
Aaron raises his eyebrows and slightly nods his head to one side, as if he is not really interested.  
“Well, I’ll take you straight home or you’ll catch your death of cold.”

They don’t speak for the couple of miles until they reach the edge of the village. Robert then stops the vehicle and turns to him. “So you want tell me what you doing out at this time the night walking in the rain?” He’s got real concern in his voice. “I’m sorry if this is something to do with me.”  
“What on earth makes you think I’d be bothered about anything you might do?”  
“Because I know you Aaron. I know you must think I’m a bastard and I don’t blame you for hating me.”  
Aaron half laughs and turns to him. “See, it’s always about you, really, isn’t it? Poor Robert, people might think so badly of him, oh dear.” He turns and faces him again. “Anyway, I told you before, I never said I hated you.” Then Robert smiles at him his big puppy dog eyes almost melting Aaron, who turns and faces the front.  
“Well, are you going to drop me home not?”  
“Yes, sure, if that’s what you want.”  
“It is.”  
Within no time, they’re at the side door of the pub. The lights are out, looks like everyone’s in bed.  
“Well, here you are, then.” Robert says matter-of-factly, then adds with a smile, “I could always come in and help you dry off.”  
Aaron turns to Robert with something between a sigh and a laugh. He stares at him for a moment and says coolly, “Okay then, but you know will happen if you do,” Robert just looks at him, not knowing what to say. Aaron keeps staring at him determined not to blink until he gets an answer.  
“Aaron”, he pauses, “does that mean what I think it means?”  
“It means what I said.”  
“Okay then.” Robert says, very hesitantly, “I’ll park up.”  
Within a few moments, they are getting out of the vehicle in silence. Aaron smiles, but it’s a strange smile, Robert can’t quite work it out, but he’s not going to miss this chance. He smiles back, but thinks it’s best to say nothing. They go into the back door of the pub and move quietly but quickly upstairs.

As soon as they are in his room, Aaron turns away and starts ripping off his own soaking wet clothes. Robert picks up a towel and drapes it over Aaron’s head and shoulders from behind, then starts gently rubbing him dry. His beautiful hair first, then his back. Aaron, by now out of everything he had on, just lets him. He says nothing but by the time Robert has finished drying him all the way down, and then turns him round, there’s no need to say a word, it’s obvious.

This time it’s more intense than ever before. All the weeks they both missed this were made up for now. ‘What we do best’ is right, and this was the best ever. Longer, more real, more intense. Exploring, wanting, giving. Passion, lust, love. Yes, love. Aaron loved him more than he would ever love anyone. Tonight, pleasing Robert was what he wanted to do more than anything in the world. Whatever happened in the future, Aaron would never forget tonight, and he was determined that neither of them would.

After the longest time ever they lay back on Aaron’s bed, happy and so contented, both staring at the ceiling. Robert turned towards Aaron, leaned over and gently kissed him on the lips.  
“We done?” said Aaron with unexpected tone.  
“Mmm, who’s done?”  
“Us. We’ve just had sex, but you can go now.”  
“What?”  
“You can have a quick shower, but don’t make a noise, cos you have to be out before Chas is up and around. I can’t risk you falling asleep and being here in the morning.”  
“Aaron” says Robert almost in disbelief. Aaron keeps staring at the ceiling, saying nothing. Robert lies back down again and then says with a sigh of relief, “Oh, I get it. This is payback. You think this is how I treated you so you can give me a bit of the same medicine. Is that it?” There is no response. “Well you know it’s pathetic. My situation is completely different.”  
“Like I said, try not to make too much noise on your way out.”  
“Fine.”  
Robert jumps off the bed and quickly pulls his clothes on. In no time he walks out of Aaron’s room saying nothing more. Aaron lies back on his bed. He listens to his footsteps down the stairs, the closing the front door and then, after a barely a minute, he can hear a car starting outside and driving away. Tears are streaming down his face. What has he done wrong for it ever to be like this? The man is driving you mad. Yet he still wants him. That was the best ever. And yet, if he’s got any sense, it will be the last. All the things they’ve done, all the time they spent together, go round and round in his mind. It’s been good, very good. Even the after the breakups there were incredible times, but it’s got to stop and stop now. He can’t go through this anymore. He’s crying, and he keeps crying until he falls asleep in his tears.

 

Another week passes. No phone calls, no texts and they manage not to bump into each other even once. None of the Whites even comes near the pub. Aaron has not got Robert out of his mind. Much as he tried, he still wants Robert more than anything. There was never going to be anyone like him, even in bed. It was mind blowing. It’s never been like that with anyone else. Well, he’d never… he smiled himself at the thought. He had even got it straight in his own mind that he can cope with just being number two. Well now Robert knew what it was like, what it felt like to be left cold after the warmest ever feeling. He hadn’t planned that way. It wasn’t meant to be like that. It just happened. Maybe that was the answer. Robert hadn’t said anything, hadn’t come near him. Well, he’d be polite if he saw him. No need to be rude, just another guy in the village. Another guy in the village, he chuckled again to himself at the thought of what Finn had said. Who knows what surprises might be in store, but he was just going to get on with his life. There’s work to be done.

As he went downstairs to breakfast. Chas was excruciatingly chirpy “Moring love. Feeling okay? Had a bit of an early night last night? Anyway, Cain called and wondered if you could go to the garage this morning and help out. He’s got to go off somewhere urgent. Debbie’s not there and he can’t rely on Ross. I said I’m sure you go until lunchtime.”  
“Thanks mum, you my secretary now?”  
“Oh give over Aaron. It’s only this morning sure they won’t be beating the doors down at scrapyard till then.”  
“Yeah, alright then. Any coffee on the go?”

Aaron is soon working in the garage. He goes in to the office to get a part and turns up the music blaring out from the radio. Ross did come after all and is working outside, when he’s not trying to wind Aaron up.  
Suddenly a car draws up outside. Robert gets out and strides meaningfully towards the entrance. “Is Aaron here?”  
“He is working, what do you want.”  
“He’s meant to be working at my business.”  
Ross calls out. “Aaron, your boyfriend’s here.” Robert stops dead and looks at the office. Aaron immediately comes out, stares straight into Robert’s eyes and shakes his head slightly to indicate not to answer back and that Ross doesn’t know anything. “Don’t mind him, bloody idiot. Thinks he’s funny. What do you want anyway?”  
“I need to talk to you. It’s important.”  
“Well, get on with it?”  
“Not here” says Robert, his eyes indicating Ross, who seems to be taking more than a casual interest.  
“Well if it’s about the scrapyard I’ll be there at one o’clock.”  
“Fine” says Robert, turning and heading off back to his car, passing Ross, who gives him a sexy wink to try and wind him up.  
As the car moves off, Ross shouts over “What did posh boy want then?”  
“Just about the yard I think. Anyway, he can wait.”  
“Don’t know what that Chrissie sees in him. What she wants is a real man.”  
“Like you I suppose.”  
“Maybe, but hasn’t your uncle got there first? Perhaps that’s where he is now.”  
“Shut it.” Aaron points a spanner at him.  
“All right keep your knickers on princess” says Ross, in what he thinks is a girly voice, but he’s immediately distracted by his phone ringing.  
He walks outside with the phone, it’s obviously he doesn’t want Aaron to hear what’s said. Aaron smirks at what scams Ross is up to now but doesn’t really care. He gets back to work.

After a couple of minutes Ross comes back in “Hey Aaron, I’ve got to go now, bit of business, you know how it is. You here til one then?  
“Yeah, that’s what I agreed, or at least me mum did for me.” says Aaron, mildly annoyed.  
“Ok, well lock up if I’m not back”  
Aaron just rolls his eyes and gets back under the bonnet of the car he’s working on. Probably better without him making smart comments for the rest of the morning.

In fact time goes quickly and Aaron finishes well before one o’clock, so he locks up and heads on up to the cabin. As he arrives he sees two cars. He definitely recognises one but not the other. There’s something makes him slightly uneasy and he quietly walks up to the door and opens it. There is Robert with a young guy. They seemed to be talking intently and at the moment the door opens the Robert says, rather too quickly, “Fine, well we’ll sort that out later” and indicates the door with a nod of his head. The guy then sheepishly leaves the office.  
At that moment Aaron feels the most jealousy he’s ever felt running through his every vein in his body, far more intense than even when he’s seen Robert with Chrissie, but he checks himself and moves towards the desk. He makes out to look through some papers, trying to appear as cool and uninterested as he can. Then he looks straight at Robert. He can’t help himself as he says “You didn’t waste much time. Good looking lad.”  
“For God’s sake Aaron, it was business.”  
“Yeah, sure. Anyway, nothing to do me any more.”  
“Aaron, Aaron, I told you, and if I didn’t I should have. Whatever happens, they’ll never be anyone else. No one like you. You are a one-off.”  
Aaron almost wanted to laugh but tries to still appear uninterested and says, as coolly as he can, “Anyway, what you want that was so urgent to get me here.”  
Robert just looks at him. That puppy dog look he just knew could melt him. Aaron stands up, moves across the room, not quite clear where this is going.  
“I want you Aaron.” Robert says in that soft sensuous way he knows just gets him.  
“What here, now?”  
“Oh, getting all choosy now” Robert thinks he has him where he wants him so will play along. “It has to be a hotel every time, does it?”  
Aaron doesn’t respond but just stares at him.  
“Okay, that’s fine. Let’s go and get the best one we can find.”  
Aaron still says nothing but just looks at him vacantly. Robert moves towards him, Aaron is backed against the wall. Robert’s hand moves to Aaron’s waist. Then he moves his head forward and starts nuzzling Aaron’s neck. Aaron still does nothing. Robert runs his hands around Aaron’s back, but Aaron just stands limp with his back against the wall.  
“So, what’s wrong?”  
“What’s wrong? You must think I’m stupid. I told you once before, don’t take me for a mug and you’re not going to now. You can just get out. I’m happy to continue the business, but that its. There’s nothing more.”  
“I know you don’t mean that. Why do you think I’m here now?”  
“I know exactly why you are here. I know what’s going on. Life’s not so perfect anymore on the Home Farm front, so you think number two will be here waiting for you. Well he isn’t and I’m off now.”  
“Aaron please, don’t go. I want to talk.”  
Aaron keeps moving to the door.  
“It’s really important.”  
“See you around.”  
As Aaron starts to open the door, then Robert says it. He voice calmer and more steady. “Aaron, I’m gay.”  
Aaron freezes for a moment. In a split second, a million things are flashing through his mind. Of all the things Robert could have said, ‘I love you’, ‘I care about you’, or even, like before, ‘you mean nothing to me’, this was probably the one thing he wasn’t expecting. He’s stopped dead, but doesn’t turn around.  
Eventually Aaron, not quite believing what he’s heard, still facing the door, says “What?”  
“I’m gay. Aaron.”  
Aaron takes a huge deep breath runs his right hand from his hair down his face. He turns around and looks at him blankly. “What game are you at now?”  
“It’s no game Aaron. If that’s what you want me to say I will.”  
Aaron shrugs and rolls his eyes, “Oh I see. Well I don’t want you to say anything you don’t …  
Before he can finish there’s an almighty, screeching of tyres.  
“What the fuck…”  
Aaron pulls the door back and jumps down in the yard, just in time to see a black 4x4 racing back out of the yard. There was a passenger. It looks like Cain but it was all too quick.  
“I don’t need this. I’m off.” Robert rushes past Aaron to his car and jumps in. Aaron doesn’t try and stop him.  
“Yeah well remember that when you next come sniffing round” now shouting as Robert starts the engine “Cos I’ll never have time again.” Aaron slammed the door shut as Robert’s car left at the speed of the previous one. ‘Never again’ said Aaron his back against the door sliding slowly down it, as the tears do on his face. What on earth is going on his life? This is a nightmare.

The rest of the day passed without anything much happening and there definitely was no sign of Robert. Aaron stayed late, until it was dark. Just in case, but no. He’s made a mug of me again, he thought. And every time I bloody fall for it. Weary, he made his way home. An early night, he didn’t want to see or speak to anyone.

 

“Aaron, Aaron, wake up.” Someone is shaking him.  
“What, what time is it?”  
“Time you were up anyway. You can’t lie in bed all day”  
“Mum please.”  
“No Aaron, this is serious you’ve got to get up. Something’s happening. I’ve just seen Cain and Ross with Robert getting into a car.”  
“I couldn’t care less about him now. He can do what he wants”  
“Aaron something’s not right.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I don’t know but why would he be going off with them?  
“Did they have a gun pointing at him?” Aaron asked sarcastically. He’s tired and annoyed.  
“No, but I know there’s something up and I don’t want Cain getting into any bother and especially not because of you.”  
“Where did they go?” Aaron is suddenly more awake.  
“They drove off towards Hotton”  
“Ok well get out and let me get dressed then.”  
“Well hurry up”.

Aaron is out of the pub and in his truck within a couple of minutes. He’s heading off before he really stops to think why. Cain isn’t going to do anything. Chas is paranoid. It’ll just be one more doggy business deal.

He keeps driving, looking around as he travels through the country lanes but not that interested. A few miles on and then suddenly he sees the same black 4x4 he saw in the yard yesterday. It's in the distance, stopped by an old barn. He can just make out Ross and Cain by the barn door but, he realises, there’s no sign of Robert. The two of them get back in the car and it moves off the other way. Aaron waits until when they are out of sight, then he drives off the road down the muddy lane to the barn.

There’s no other building there and no sign of Robert, or anyone. He walks all around but there are no windows only the door and it’s clearly padlocked. He bangs on the wood. “Robert, are you in there?” There’s no answer. He tries to look through the crack in the door but it’s too dark, he can’t see anything. Cain, what have you done?

He tries to wrench the padlock but he can’t budge it. He looks around for something to use but there’s nothing. He walks all round continually calling Robert’s name but there’s so response. He can see some sort of loft opening. It seems to be the only way in. He’ll have to climb up and get in that way. “Robert I’m coming in. Its going to be ok, just hang on.”  
He scrabbles up the brickwork, hanging onto a drainpipe, and manages to drag himself onto the roof. Clambering over the rickety sheets, he wonders if he’ll fall though before he reaches the opening. When he eventually makes it, he looks in and can still see nothing. Well this is it, he think, now or never, He puts his feet in first then lets him self down so he’s hanging with just his hands gripping the edge. Without thinking anymore he lets himself go. He falls, but hasn’t a clue where or what he’ll land on. Something breaks his fall. Hands grab him. And help him upright. It’s him.  
“You’re alive?” Aaron blinks, adjusting to the light, or lack of it.  
“Looks like it”  
“Why didn’t you answer when I called?”  
“I assumed you were in on it and I wasn’t going to give you the satisfaction.”  
“I’m not in on anything. I just wanted to know that you’re ok”  
“What do you care?”  
“I don’t care about you but I don’t want my uncle getting grief because of someone like you”  
“Someone like me?”  
“Yeah, someone not worth bothering about. Cain was there for me when I really needed him and I’m going to make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”  
“Cain is a good man but you’re right, someone like me is not worth bothering about.”  
“Oh don’t start all that crap. It does work anymore Robert. I won’t even waste time saying what a lying deceitful bastard you are. I’m just going to sort this, then I never want to see you again.”  
“Is that so Aaron?” he pauses and his voice becomes softer “You don’t really mean that do you? After all we’ve been through?”  
“What do you mean we’ve been through? Cop on to yourself. One minute you want me in your bed and the next you threaten me. You can be the most ... the most considerate person ever, and the next minute you treat me like I’m your worst enemy. I don’t hate you but I hate what you are. I can’t trust you. You pick people up and then throw them away when it suits you. Well not me. Not any more.”  
Robert is just staring at him and puts his hands up to each side of his face, his mouth open. He looks really worried, although Aaron can’t be sure if he’s is actually laughing at him inside. A moment of sympathy hits Aaron in full flow, so he adds “I hope at least you know me well enough to know that I’m never going to reveal your ‘dirty little secret’, if that’s what your worried about and if you don’t know that, well, I guess that says it all.”  
Aaron moves away but it still looking at Robert. “You actually threatened me to keep quiet so maybe you don’t know me at all.” Robert says nothing. “You may have all your fancy stuff but I know I’ve got something all your money can’t buy. I’m loyal Robert. I stick by my family and my friends. I’d do anything for the people I care about, the people that really mean something to me. You could never care about anyone but yourself. I’m here now because I care about Cain but also because you meant something to me, obviously more than I did to you. I told you how I felt but, but, well that was then. I still don’t want anything to happen to you but there’s no ‘us’ Robert. There never can be.”  
Aaron just stops and Robert says nothing for a minute until, “You can be so pig headed sometimes” then, more reflectively, he added slowly “Yes well I guess I am as well.”  
“It’s the truth. Hard to take isn’t it?” says Aaron coldly.  
“No more than I deserve.”

There was a long silence. Aaron started pacing about, trying to look through cracks in the door. Eventually he turns around, looks intently at Robert, shrugs his shoulders as if he almost pitying him and asks “Anyway what was all that about suddenly being gay?”  
Robert is sitting on a tarpaulin covering something or other. He gets up, pleased that at least they are talking again and walks slowly over to the door “No Aaron, I mean it. I’m gay.” Aaron puts his hand up as if to tell him not to come any closer. Robert meekly accepts and continues, slowly, “I like men and I love you and if the only way I can prove it is to say that, then I’m happy to do so Aaron. I will tell you, I will say it to anyone. Want me to go into the pub and say it? I will tell them all, but I don’t want to hurt anybody else. I’ve already messed up completely and I’ve ruined people’s lives but believe me, the one person I want in all the world is you, and I will give up everything for that.”  
Aaron is genuinely surprised at this own reaction after what he’s just told him. “Well I can tell you this, of all the things you might have said to try and get me round, I would never have expected that. I don’t know what else to say really.”  
“Well, don’t say anything at all and just listen.”  
“So what about Chrissie then? Where exactly does she fit into all this sudden revelation?”  
“I tell you in a minute, but first hear me out. Please.” Robert stops, turns and then sits down again, staring into the darkness of the barn. He starts slowly, “I suppose I could say I’m bisexual but you’ll think that’s a copout. I don’t know, well maybe I do. Sexuality is a fluid thing, I like women but at the moment there’s only one person I want and that’s a man. That’s you Aaron.” Aaron just looks at him, but Robert doesn’t return his gaze. “I guess I’ve always known. I really thought I was straight. I told you about one night stands and that’s all they ever were. Never more than once with the same guy. I kept convincing myself that if there was no emotional involvement. I wasn’t anything else but ‘normal’. I knew I liked women but I liked guys as well, and then I met you. As much as I fought against it, I knew it was different with you. I knew almost immediately, even though I wouldn’t let myself believe it. Not just different than any other man but different from anyone else, anyone ever. I wanted you and I will always want you.” He turns and looks directly at the man he’s just described “So that’s me Aaron. I’m happy to say I’m gay because I’m in love with a man and I never want to be in love with anyone else again.”  
Aaron was speechless. He wasn’t just that he couldn’t actually say anything, he didn’t know what to say even if he could. He sat down near Robert but stayed silent. They remained there in the stillness for what seemed an eternity, not even looking at each other.

Eventually Aaron looked at the man sitting next to him, the man who had turned his world upside down and said, very quietly, “So what about Chrissie?”  
“Chrissie and I are over, Aaron. That’s why I wanted to speak to you yesterday but then Cain came and it all got lost.”  
“Hang on, I’m the one lost. Just slow down and start again.”  
“I’d already made a choice Aaron. You were the one I wanted. I had told Chrissie already.”  
Aaron was now even more shocked. “Yeah?” almost in disbelief. “So what happened?”  
She’d said before about a legal separation, apparently because we weren’t married long enough but here’s the rub. When I said she needn’t bother because I was going to divorce her, she laughed. I thought it was because she’s was wanted to throw something back at me but she told me I couldn’t divorce her”  
“Why the hell not?”  
“You may well ask, Aaron. It seems we’re not actually married.” He dares to put his arm on Aaron's shoulder and asks “So who’s the idiot now?”  
“What do you mean you’re not married? I was there if you remember.” He takes a deep sigh “Not a day I’m ever going to forget.”  
“Apparently she was already married. Strange as it seems.”  
“You’re kidding me.” Aaron pulls away, stands up, then sits down again. “No. Apparently she married some guy she met on holiday abroad when she was 17. It was supposedly all a mad impulsive thing but it was legal, and still is. Her dad didn’t know but her sister was a witness. Guess that’s why she never showed up at our so called wedding. Chrissie said she and the guy lost touch almost immediately and she just put it out of her mind. She never married Lachlan’s dad. Don’t know if that was good or bad but as time went on she seems to have thought no one would ever find out and they probably wouldn’t have. I mean the guy hasn’t turned up or anything.”  
“So why did she say anything now?”  
“I don’t know, maybe on the spur of the moment, anger, jealousy. I think she regretted it immediately but it couldn’t be unsaid.”  
“Jealousy? What exactly did you say?”  
“I told her the truth Aaron.”  
“For once in your life?” said Aaron, not really joking.  
“I told her that I realised I was wrong to have married her and that I did care for her but that I loved someone else and I knew that I wanted to be with them for the rest of my life. She asked who she was and I told her it was you.” Aaron just raised his eyebrows and made a face but couldn’t think of anything to say. Robert continued, “That’s when she kicked off, called me a few choice things, understandably really, and then went on about us not being married. I didn’t believe her at first until she convinced me. She’s still got a certificate with stuff locked up in the bank, apparently. She also said it meant I wouldn’t get anything from her.”  
“Well I guess she’s right there” said Aaron trying to appear sensible when everything seemed to be mad.  
“Yes, but it means she doesn’t get anything from me. I’m not that stupid Aaron, I always kept my options open, in case things didn’t turn out. I mean, I hope she finds what she’s looking for. I don’t want anything bad for her and I guess I’d always help her if she was in real trouble, well the three of them I suppose. So long as that was all right with you, of course.”  
“With me?” Aaron stood up and walked around. “You know what, when I was a kid Chas had a saying she used about someone she thought was lying ‘I wouldn’t believe the words of the Lord’s prayer out of their mouth’. Not that she particularly religious or anything but it’s the same point Robert. You seem so honest now but after everything that’s happened I just don’t know what to believe, and it’s doing my head in.”  
“I swear that is the truth Aaron.”

Again there’s a long silence then Aaron starts, “I told you that day that I love you. Nothing changed but it doesn’t mean I want to be with you, can even cope with you, your scheming and your mood swings.”  
“I understand that Aaron”  
“So why are you here anyway? What have you done to Cain?”  
“I haven’t done anything that’s the whole point. I told you, he’s a good man. I know what he did that time with you and the car when you tried to … well he cares about you. That’s why I’m here. He’s protecting you from me, not keeping me from Chrissie.”  
“I’m completely lost now.”  
“Harriet was trying to find Adam and Vic and misunderstood what she saw with Cain and Chrissie. She was trying to calm him down that’s all.  
“So why are you locked up here?”  
“Well he was certainly angry that I was ‘messing with your head’ as he so eloquently put it but I’m not sure what he thought about was going to happen to me. I actually don’t think he’s figured it that far.”  
“And what about Adam and Victoria?”  
“I guess I was being over protective. Who am I to judge anyone when it comes to affairs of the heart, eh?”  
“Oh don’t start getting all soppy on me” says Aaron, as he starts walking around again.  
“No I’m not. They’ll be all right. I’m going to do everything I can to help them. Help them both. I’ll do whatever it takes. Adam’s alright and she’s clearly in love with him.”  
“Yeah, well first we have to get out of here.” They both stop to think what’s going to happen next. They sit in the stillness of the barn .They can hear each other breathing.

“Someone’s coming.” Says Aaron suddenly.  
“It must be Cain” Robert is clearly worried.  
“Ok, well take it easy. I’ll deal with Cain. Just stand back.”  
The barn door opens a bit but it’s not Cain, it’s Chrissie. Robert and Aaron freeze. She’s got a shot gun in her hand and she’s pointing it, waving it between them.

“Chrissie, let’s talk about this” says Robert holding out his hands towards her.  
“Talk? What’s there to talk about?” she’s clearly been drinking.  
“Chrissie now be sensible. Just put the gun down and lets all stay calm.”  
“Calm is it Robert? Calm so you can go off with him.” Pointing the gun at Aaron  
“Now Chrissie” says Robert in as firm but soft a voice as he could manage but the fear in it was clear.  
“It’s me you’re mad with, not Aaron.”  
“Yes I am but it’ll hurt you more if I hurt him.”  
She points the shotgun directly at Aaron. In slow motion they both see her finger move on the trigger. Aaron just stands there. Robert has a split second to think. He dives at Aaron and throws him to the ground, landing on top of him as the gun goes off. The sound is deafening in the barn. There’s a scream and a thud. Robert can feel a strange hotness on his face. Slowly he says “Aaron, Aaron, you’re ok. Please Aaron, please tell me you’re ok.” Aaron doesn’t respond. Robert can’t believe it. The love of his live lies motionless beneath him. He rolls off him, tears fill his eyes so much he can hardly see. “Please Aaron, please wake up. No, please, no.” Robert starts shaking the lifeless boy in front of him, willing him not to be dead. This can’t be happening.  
His eyes open slowly “My head. My head hurts.”  
Robert feels his head tentatively. “You’re not bleeding”. Robert closes his own eyes for a moment, hardly able to believe that Aaron’s still alive. “I think you just bashed it on the ground.”  
“Just?” he says groggily. Robert turns his attention away from Aaron for the first time. There is commotion at the door. Lawrence and Cain are rushing in. They go to Chrissie. Robert hadn’t even given her a thought. She is lying on the ground rolling about and swearing.  
Lawrence helps her up, “For God’s sake, what’s happened”.  
“Oh no” says Chrissie starting to cry “I fired but there’s something wrong with the gun. It didn’t fire properly. It must have knocked me back. I, I, I’ve got all this black stuff on me.”  
“I think that’s what came over here on me” says Robert wiping his face and looking all around, “but at least I’m not dead. No thanks to you.”  
Cane rushes over to Aaron “You all right?”  
“Yes, I think I must have hit my head, rubbing the back of his scalp. She was pointing a gun and the next thing I was on the floor.” Aaron looks at Robert “You threw yourself in front of me. You saved my life.” Aaron throws his arms around Robert’s neck and hugged him tightly.  
“Yes, all very touching, I’m sure” says Cain, a little embarrassed. “Well it seems no one is seriously hurt. I guess that’s something.”  
“Chrissie, what has got into you? Have you gone completely mad?” says Lawrence, now soundly rather less caring than a few moments ago.  
“I’m sorry. I don’t know…I don’t know why … I do know anything.”

Cain is checking his pockets furiously then looks at Chrissie, "You took the key off me didn't you, you stupid cow"  
“Come on,” says Lawrence, grabbing the gun and taking Chrissie’s arm. “We’re going home. Thank God there seems to be something wrong with this thing. I believe Sam mentioned it, now I come to think of it. Perhaps it’s just as well that I didn’t get it fixed.”  
Lawrence starts to lead Chrissie out but she turns and calls to Robert “Well I suppose it’s quits all round now away” then turns back and carries on out yanking her arm out of Lawrence’s grasp.  
Lawrence tries to grab her again and says to Robert “Look please believe me, I didn’t know any of this. I certainly wouldn’t let her go through with the wedding to you if I’d known.” He pauses, he’s almost sad as well as angry, “Of course, I can understand.” His eyes cross from Robert to Aaron and then back again “You know that. We’ll sort this mess out. You look out for each other. You have a second chance to be happy. I never got that.” He stops again and looks as if he is about to say something else, but changes his mind, smiles and as Chrissie starts moaning, he takes her arm again and leads her off to his car.  
Robert and Aaron are now sitting shoulder to shoulder, supporting each other, their arms around each other, their heads touching. Cain looks both, he sighs as if he’s bored already and says “Well, if neither of you need to go to hospital. I’m off.”  
“Cain why did you and Ross do this to Robert. Why kidnap him?”  
Don’t be dramatic. I didn’t kidnap him. He’d have known if I wanted to do him any real harm. I just want to cool him down. He’s winding everyone up, He’s doing your head in. I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on. He can do what he likes but I’m not having anyone mess with my family.  
“But what’s Ross got to do with it?” said Aaron.  
“Nothing. Nothing at all. I could have taken lover boy here on anytime, don’t you worry about that but Ross was around and I knew he could get the right vehicle quick, so I asked if he wanted to earn a few bob. He jumped at it when I told him what it was. I think he’d have done it or free but I wasn’t going to let him do any damage. I just wanted to teach this fella a lesson. It was meant to happen yesterday. But Ross messed around for so long getting another vehicle that when we got to the cabin we saw you had arrived already” looking at Aaron “You weren’t meant to be there until one o’clock. When I saw the truck, I told Ross to turn around quick. Needless to say he loved all that, screeching tyres and the rest. Anyway we had to delay it for a few hours. We didn’t get a chance until this morning when we saw him in the middle of the village. He kind of walked right into it.”  
Cain moved towards the door saying “Anyway I’m done here”. He stops and turns directly to Robert. He points and says, “If you ever mess with him it will be the last thing you ever do.”  
Aaron supresses a smirk and thinks that he’s heard that somewhere before.  
Cain says nothing more and walks out of the door.

There’s silence for a long while as they just holding each other tightly sitting on the ground. Eventually Aaron speaks first, “Can I believe any of this?”  
“It’s all good and it’s really all right. It just didn’t turn out quite as I planned.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I meant to tell you in the cabin. I had a surprise for you.”  
“Oh the blond lad, yeah well just what kind of surprise was that?”  
“Not him, what he was sorting out. It was a vehicle. Well it is a car but a very nice one. I wanted to get you something to start off our new life.”  
“I don’t want…”  
Robert put his fingers to Aaron’s lips. “Something you can’t exactly throw back at me.” He takes his fingers away and gently kisses his beautiful lips.

Aaron pulls away, still not completely sure this is for real. “There’d better not be anything else. I really mean it this time.”  
This is it. Honestly, nothing more left to tell you, except that I love you with all my heart and I promise you I always will. This is a fresh start for us both. Let’s not waste it.”  
Aaron looks at him with that look. That look he has that just melts Robert. Aaron still says nothing then moves his hand to Robert’s face pulling him into a long gentle kiss.

A kiss to start the rest of their lives together.

THE END


End file.
